Freaky Snail

“Mayhem is coming to the masses! Freaky Snail on Android! Remember feeding coin after coin into machines at the arcade? We'll remind you! Never did it? We'll teach you how!”

Publisher: What is this crap? You need a standard description here, get it? Something about the game.

Developer: Aw, fine! Here's your standard description: “An unorthodox collection of arcade games that narrate the hilarious adventures of the Freaky Snail on his exciting travels. The collection was produced with a unique artistic style. Travel all across world with the Freaky Snail: visit US malls and German science laboratories, participate in snowboarding races in Switzerland, catch fish in Australia's Coral Sea… blah blah blah, so on and so forth.”

Developer: Will that do?

Publisher: Well yeah, something like that.

Developer: Listen, let's just write "badass game!"

Publisher: No, that's not the way it's done, and anyway… What if someone doesn't like it?

Developer: So what? It's a game, not 500 bucks, you can't please everyone!

Publisher: Smartass. Just write about the features!

Features:

Every game in the collection has its own oldschool prototype (guess 'em if you can);

All the games in the collection were produced with a unique artistic style (the only style we know);

Three entertaining mini-games of varying difficulty to choose from (there'll be more if you support the game);

Freaky Snail's own brand of mayhem (at least the parts the publishers didn't cut);

And plenty of bugs and glitches (what did you expect? But we'll fix 'em, honest!);

Oh yeah, and there's some awesome and annoying 8-bit music included!