Simpkins Cure

Arthur Godfrey Simpkins was a survivor, by chance alone. As a reluctant naval officer (from a long line of reluctant naval officers), Simpkins blundered his way through numerous conflicts, including the War of the Golden Stool.

His nautical career culminated in 1912, when he managed, through no fault of his own, to survive the sinking of the Titanic.

His Titanic experience left a deep scar and he developed a pathological fear of water. However, his fear gave him a new perspective on life. In 1913, he began work on the Simpkins Cure for the Remedial Mind, an attempt to train his mental faculties and to rid himself of his water phobia.

His cure was a correspondence course of 'scientifically-proven exercises devised to invigorate the mental faculties of man and even those of women'.

He invested his life savings into the cure, eventually bankrupted himself, having sold zero copies. He died in abject poverty in a small cottage on Southampton docks, unable to leave, due to the sound of the icy, crashing waves outside his window.

Now, for the first time, you too can take Simpkins Cure for the Remedial Mind. Discovered, quite by chance by DESQ, ours is a homage to Simpkins, may he rest in peace.

Course One and Course Two have now been made available exclusively on the apparatus of the modern era.

Course One entitled 'Memorandum' is a course to exercise your mental recall faculties. You are encouraged to strengthen your powers of memory by matching imagery seen on the reverse of cards that magically appear on this hand held apparatus.

Course Two entitled 'Attentional Control' is a course especially devised by Simpkins to bring your mind to focus. An imaginary cricket ball balances atop a pivoting platform. The longer the ball remains aloft, the greater your mental focus.

Featuring:

Hundreds of combinations that test your mental resolve.

No two lessons are the same.

The lessons increase in mental taxation. You will witness numerous cards appearing afore you, with images of splendid wonder with which to differentiate.

Your results will be recorded and assessed in order that you may improve your mental concentration further.

Words of wisdom and resolve will be displayed from the archives of the Arthur Godfrey Simpkins estate.