Instigator

Do you love sports but think that checking scores is boring? Don't you wish your daily sports headlines were delivered in the same manner as the obnoxious drunk guy sitting behind you and your loved ones at the game? Well get ready for 2 minutes in the box, my friend. INSTIGATOR. Hockey reference.

A sophisticated language algorithm grabs the scores of your favorite goal-based skirmishes and randomly generates vile, immature headlines that are 68% accurate, guaranteed. You'll no longer have to deal with your worst sports-junkie friend whom no one even likes. 'Cuz he's in your pocket now.

Great for:

Commuting

Starting fights

Parties

Occasions

Occasional parties

Zoos

Divorce