Tele Goat

Google's brand-new Android 4.2 operating system contains a super-secret functionality that can check, in real-time, whether you are a normal human, or whether you are a goat. According to Google, those goats (and you might be one of them) are able to teleport!

Check for yourself:

http://developer.android.com/reference/android/os/UserManager.html#isUserAGoat()

This app allows you to find out the truth. Are you a goat? Will you be able to cultivate your unknown teleportation powers and zip around in milliseconds where others take hours to get to? Or are you a mere human being, unable to exploit teleportation for the rest of your sad life?

Download, hit the button, and find out for yourself.

Unfortunately, as Googles new, near-magic functionality is only available with Android 4.2, you need a phone with that latest OS to run this app. Nobody said it would be easy to learn to teleport.

[Yes, this is a pointless app. But the API that checks for the User being a goat is real, and the explanation about goats being able to teleport as well. And with Google knowing what only Google knows, maybe there's a race of goatish super heroes out there. And maybe you are one of them. Who knows?]