Selected Funny Jokes

Selected Funny Jokes is a very simple app where you can find a selection of the funniest jokes ever.

Here is a sample of jokes you will find:

- A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen. Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop." The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing."

- Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding."

- A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me." His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

-I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex. Sex. Sex. Free sex tonight." I said, "Wow." Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."