لا تكن لطيفا اكثر من اللازم

How to stop making 9 self-sabotaging mistakes

Behavior involving goodwill is essential to a compassionate society, but it has a downside. Being kind often means putting up with too much, sometimes lying, trying too hard, always coming close to perfection, and falling victim to other behaviors that are detrimental to self and safety.

You are a kind person, you always try to do what other people expect, and while you are, you do anything to please them, you never demand anything from them for yourself, you take care not to hurt other people's feelings, you never lose your temper, and when others attack you unreasonably, you remain reasonable and calm , And you are always ready to give advice to people, and when you feel embarrassed by the manner of a friend with you, you never think about embarrassing him, and you never speak of what makes you sad to others, because you are a really nice person.

The writer pondered the influence of the kind character on himself, and with a new realization began to identify his more defeatist behaviors: he usually said yes to people when he should have said no, and he constantly isolated himself from others by not telling them what he wanted, by pretending to be calm when he was angry, and By lying when he was afraid of hurting their feelings, and again and again he was discouraged from taking the responsibility of taking care of them even when he couldn't.

The author realizes that this behavior (by meeting with a group of friends with a famous psychiatrist to reflect on how they perform as individuals in the helping professions), a way of rushing to the rescue of others who have problems, is destructive to us and to them. When we are close to the people who are important to us, and when we feel good when we try to help others, we abound in good intentions. ourselves.

In this book, the author refers to these behaviors as errors. He studies things that nice people do with good intentions and in a way they are used to, but which adversely affect their relationships, and take away the joy from their lives. And steal precious time and energy. The author summarized these behaviors in nine counterproductive mistakes that deserve our attention because with a little thought and effort we can stop doing them.

Also, the writer does not differentiate between women and men falling into these errors. The writer realizes that both sexes deal with social situations in a different way from the other sex, and from a different perspective, and that one of the sexes may be more inclined to make one of these mistakes, and that women suffer more social pressures than men to be nice, and that most people believe that men They do not have the same quality of kindness as women, but whether you are a nice man, or a nice woman, you are likely to repeat these nine mistakes to your detriment.

This book was written by Duke Robinson and the rights of the book are reserved to its owner