Emotional intelligence

"Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.

In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing most of the world to the nascent concept of emotional intelligence. The idea--that an ability to understand and manage emotions greatly increases our chances of success--quickly took off, and it went on to greatly influence the way people think about emotions and human behavior.

But what does emotional intelligence look like, as manifested in everyday life?

For the past two years, I've explored that question in researching my forthcoming book, EQ, Applied. In doing so, I've identified a number of actions that illustrate how emotional intelligence appears in the real world.

Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others.

That awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:

What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?

How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making?

What's going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?

Pondering questions like these yield valuable insights that can be used to your advantage"